Fairy Tales, Horror Stories and a God of Impossibilities

The beginning of this year saw me hitting a weird place of happiness and hope. I wrote about it here. The post about fairy tales being real – and what made me realize that I had begun to cautiously hope that it was possible. Here I sit, just a few days shy of six months after that post, crying again. I turned on the television this evening and watched a bit of “New Moon,” because it was on, and I heard this line:

"Is it possible that everything's true? The fairy tales & horror stories? Is it possible that there isn't anything sane and normal at all?"

Yes. If fairy tales are real – and I was cautious in believing that - then the horror stories and nightmares are real. And it feels like I’m living a nightmare right now, still. I know it’s been nearly two months and in my head and maybe to those still sticking close by my side through this might logically be in a place where they just want me to get over it. But the thing is, and the reality is, that this has left a scar that will never go away. In the end, I suppose that’s OK, but the reality is…I am still having nightmares, I’m still cry when I’m left alone too long.

So yes, fairy tales are real. I’ve caught a glimpse of them, but I can’t help thinking that maybe all I’m going to get are the ones that descend into horror story before too long, because that's all I've ever known. In my previous post, I quoted GK Chesterton stating that fairy tales exist to remind us that dragons can be slayed. Oh how I need some dragon slaying – a hero of epic proportions who does accomplishes the impossible. Because of late, all I see are horror stories and nightmares – and it’s going to take a miracle for that to change.

Luckily, I have a God whose specialty is the impossible. What feels impossible is that I’ll have a day in the sunshine for more than a split second. Ecclesiastes says that there is a time to laugh and a time to weep..and to be honest, I feel like I’ve had far more days of weeping than laughter and the biggest lie winning in my life right is that I will never laugh again. And I don’t mean just laughing at something funny, I mean – that place of real happiness that I experienced for a few months before all of this fell to pieces. For this, I’m clinging to a truth that is true even though I don’t feel it. God is FOR me, not against me. He’s got the impossible mapped out in ways I can’t see and He knows the deepest places in my heart. I’m so glad that I can trust a BIG God…because if he were small, this mess would have sent me to go cliff jumping too…and not so that I could hear the voice of the past.

Dear Jesus, I need you to slay some dragons for me. I need you to help me believe in impossibilities again. I can’t do it on my own. I need a miracle....


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