Waiting Here For You

The Psalms are like fresh water to my limping heart. I read them almost constantly, but today they came in a flood. Psalm 86, 87, 145, 146, 135, 84, and on and on....they are coming in a never ending flood of goodness and refreshing. From the need of the Psalmist to honestly say that God had removed friend and lover from him (yeah, I get that)...to the more clear headed moments when the Psalmist says in 135:5 that he knows that God is Great. Yes. God is great. And today His waves broke over me in crashing floods.

I arrived at prayer early this morning to hear Peggy talk about this month's teaching value in Children's ministry of prayer and she focused on WHO we are praying to, and gave us cards of prayer to focus and draw near to our BIG God. I started weeping then. It was like I broke apart on that fact alone.

Then I got to thinking about this GREAT God we serve. I went into the K5 teach today expecting to give to the kids and God poured out more on me as we talked about the Holy Spirit and the help he brings by pouring God's word into our hearts and heads when we need the help most. And I realized that the last two weeks have been that. God's word resonating in my heart when I couldn't find words to pray from the tears falling from my eyes. I was blown over by how God loves me to keep drawing near to me when I've been cracked.

Then I walk into service, knowing exactly what ws coming, since Betsy had warned me of the songs we were singing, telling me "God picked this set specifically for your heart, His daughter." a few days ago. And boy was she right. "Our God", "Waiting here For You" and "Song for the Broken" (as the special, good grief, I was weeping) and "You Hold Me Now." --- yeah, There wasn't one bar of music that there were not tears gushing down my cheeks. I literally could not stop them from pouring out. And I remembered after, the line from Todd Agnew's song "Martyr's Song" that says "Every tear you cried dried in the palm of My hand, Every lonely hour was by my side" and ...wow. I just was so overwhelmed by His love again. He holds my tears, He holds me.

And let me tell you, too, that first thing this morning, Victor played this song and I have no idea what it is, but the lyrics that broke over me first - before the day ever started was "The hands that hold the universe are holding you." Guh. How quickly I forget WHO has me?

God didn't whisper today, He shouted in my pain. He didn't just give me a cup of water, he poured out a rushing river. He didn't just send a gentle breeze, but rather hurricanes of his Love. He didn't just speak, he sang to me.

And I trust His heart. He's bigger than this. And It's on Him I wait. And He gave me today, more faith than I've ever had - in grace. And I live by faith....and if faith can move the mountains...then for His love, Let those mountains MOVE.


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