Hallowed Out

Today, our first team meeting for Nicaragua happened. I met my team members and there was the customary introductions with background information and what you expect from the trip to the House of Hope in Nicaragua. I genuinely loathe those kinds of questions because I always feel like it's a chance people use to toot their own horn or something of the kind. As someone who's hyper-sensitive to prideful statements, as I tend to be numero uno in lacking in humility, I have a struggle with what to say that is appropriate in those moments. So on came my turn....

"Hi, My name is Amanda and this will be my first out of the country mission trip. As for what I expect, well, I simply expect God to continue to hallow me out, because He's already begun and I imagine this is just the beginning."

True story. I feel like that pumpkin that's being carved. Top cut off, and the insides all scooped out and tossed. It'll be time to dry out for a bit soon, I imagine. The tears flowed nonstop all morning, thanks to the worship set at BRCC this morning(see previous post). But perhaps after the drying stage comes the inevitable cutting away of pieces of me to let the light shine through when the time comes. Who knows what will happen in the next 8 weeks, but I know that God is truly at work.

One of my sweet blog friends told me recently that God can only do something when we are faced with losing everything dear to us. I've been tossing the idea of Issac and Abraham around my head a lot lately. Abraham was asked to kill his son, the son of the PROMISE that God gave him. And he was willing. Up the mountain they went, and Abraham said - in faith - "the boy and I will go up the mountain and worship and WE will return" He trusted that God would either 1) save his son or 2) raise him from the dead (even though Abraham had never known God to do it) - Now, I don't know about you, but that's some RADICAL faith in a BIG God. So, for me, I am going to Say that, "The boy and I will go up to the mountain to worship and WE will return." I believe that God is big enough. He's done so much more in greater faithfulness than I've ever seen. He's HUGE. He's a God that I just have this wild, unhindered and radical trust in. Can't explain it, can't deny it, just rest in it.


  1. I love that you are going to the HOH. You will love it. LOVE it.

  2. I love that you are ready and willing to be emptied of yourself.


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