One Can Always Find Gratitude if They are Looking

Several years ago, I had gotten into a serious streak of whinyness and God took hold of me pretty quickly and told me to get busy being thankful because I couldn't be one of His worshipers with such a peeved attitude all the time. So weekly, I wrote blogs about what I was thankful. I still write my thankfuls in a journal I keep in a purse. I sing them, I jot them down on my phone, but I don't blog about them nearly enough.

Last night I erupted into a full-on meltdown with sobs, snot and sincere grief all over front of my poor family. Traveling doesn't often provide the moments of private grief I need to proceed cheerfully in my day and I'd been bottling it up for a few days. My brother encountered me crying thrice in a few hours time. Poor guy. I cried myself to sleep. I woke up at 4 am and cried & prayed for an hour til I passed out exhausted again. Woke, melancholic and feeling crummy *Physically too* and by noon, I laid down for a nap and cried myself off to sleep land again.

I think God took some pity on me, because when I woke after thirty minutes, I was slightly less weepy and things took a bright turn. Here's a snapshot of some thankfuls for today:

* Air Conditioning in excruciating heat. What a blessed century we live in!
* Watermelon Sorbet. It was a revelation. Yum.
* Sly kisses and hugs from cute nephews.
* My brother who makes me laugh when I'm crying or when I'm mad. One of the few who can.
* The fact that my mom, dad and brother just let me sad and don't try to fix.
* Naps. Are. Glorious.
* A friend who would drive to a certain state and doll out a tongue lashing if she could. It would be ugly. But she would because she loves me.
* God's word. It's fresh water to my soul right now.
* Book stores! I got to go to a book store today!
* Nica is only two weeks away - both scared, and excited about this!!
* People who ACTUALLY text back instead of just ignore the need to answer like some.
* Thunderstorms. Yeah, we had a gloriously beautiful one tonight.
* Unexpected time with my brother alone.
* Previous event included SUSHI! And it was YUUUUUM!
* A Break in this dang heat. Thank YOU JESUS.
* Motorcycle Kisses.
* Laughing with brother. He makes my heart glad.
* Aleve & Ibuprofen. Both are heaven sent gifts. Crying makes my head hurt.
* One silly prayer I asked from God for the Nica trip was answered today and I'm so thankful.
* I left my stuffed football at home (that I sleep with) and my brother is letting me use his stuffed Stitch. It's comforting.
* Music. Soothes me. Eager to relax a moment and read while the tunes play.
* Overall, just thankful that the tears seem to have left me for the moment.
* Faith is believing what you cannot see. And All things are possible if you believe. I believe.
* The magical firefly display across the street from my brother's house. It's like a sparkle display...flickering christmas lights, thick as thieves. I want to go frolic in it. But mostly, I want to sit and be in awe.

I'm so thankful tonight.
So thankful.


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