Encouragement Comes in the Strangest Ways

* Sometimes encouragement comes in the strangest ways.

* Today I wore a flowered blouse and a flower in my hair. It caused quite the uproar among everyone I encountered. Beautiful, they called me beautiful. And even the young and old men noticed and said something to me today. I am never getting rid of that shirt or the headband. And I might wear that headband everyday.

* Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster. Really awful. I can't get into details but it was awful, truly awful. Once upon a time, I would have texted him and told him the bad day. And he would have turned the world upside down to cheer me up. So...in the aftermath, I was taking a hot shower and got out of the shower and found a long text from him telling me (out of the blue and unprovoked) he was thinking of and praying for me. Perfect timing, as usual. Something about his texts coming when I was most discouraged rang so true to me of a gift from God. Oddly, I still feel that way.

* Finding out that God has miraculously provided for my trip to Nicaragua. Spending time laughing with the fellas on the team and recognizing that God is doing something in me that I can't even put my finger on just yet. But I did share a little bit about my extreme vulnerability and weakness right now. Big deal for this girl.

* Psalm 139 rang through the four corners of BRCC today. From the kids' theater in worship to the main service in worship...There must still be stones in my heart left unturned. Upend them, God. Leave no stone unturned.

* Those friends who are bright sunshine to my heart....God, I love them. Sundays are the best because I get to see so many faces I love and who love me. Even in the hurt.

* To be able to text him even if briefly today...well that was encouraging, not painful and oddly...seems not out of place. I'm just continually praying through the encounters. I can only rest in the fact that God is at work.

* I am tremendously thankful for friends who have seen me through the ups and downs of life. And I am tremendously thankful that they have endured the seemingly endless sorrow. I know that people don't want to be around sad people and therefore I think some folks are just flat out avoiding my attempts to get in touch with them, set up coffee or anything... I understand it and it makes me more than inexplicably thankful for those who have left the door of their heart open to me, which, really isn't all that many.

* My brother is a hero. He is my hero. He's a man who champions me, reminds me of my beauty, loves me, encourages me to be a better Christ follower, reprimands me when I am out of line, and overall just one amazing man. And he reminds me of what I pray for to come into my life some day. Only a man who protects, who champions, who is proud of and loves me unconditionally.

* Realizing that I am not tough. I am vulnerable, weak and sensitive this week....far more sensitive than I've ever been...or could have thought to be. Maybe this was part of the process God was doing? I don't know. But geez...now all my emotions are on my coat sleeves. Not sure how I feel about that, except oddly uncomfortable, as it leaves me so vulnerable....to attack and crazy hurt again. But there's no real going back, I guess.

* And I'm exhausted. Exhausted. A good night of sleep is my last bastion of encouragement...please, Jesus, let me sleep peacefully tonight.


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