Shooting From The Hip

Today I feel bloggy, but I'm also feeling a little lazy and procrastinaty (yes, I made that a word). So I shall just shoot from the hip and say what comes to mind. This could get me into trouble, or it could just be agood thing.

Women know women. It's just true that we do. Some are naive and believe women at face value. That's stupid. No woman does things at face value. Almost everything we accomplish is guided by some motivation - whether fear, love, hurt, joy, maniupation, hatred, jealousy, anger, kindess, etc. Motivation is always at the core of it. My favorite phrase from women around me "Girls don't JUST do..." anything. True story.

I am kind of in loathe of social media these days. It has caused me far more headache recently. I don't like the passive aggressive bend of it. I don't like my inability to reign what I think - or anyone else for that matter. I don't like seeing people chasing after other people via social media. I don't like how things are easily miscommunicated, misread and wholly misunderstood. I don't like the narcisstic nature of the whole thing where everyone assumes everything is about them (yes, even me). I don't like the way it helps things get blown waaaaaay out of proportion. Mostly, I don't like the trouble it gets me into because people assume things. All in all, Twitter is back to stupid stuff like music and quotes. Facebook is really just about posting music and stupidity. No more personal interacitons on either. It's far too likely to get messy. Sometimes it's worth it, but sometimes, it's just a mess.

Frankly, I'm discovering that being tired, exhausted after a long day or not feeling well makes people exceptionally cranky and intolerant of things otherwise not so irritaing. Personally, my guard is down at the end of the day. Maybe that's the answer - people need more sleep, better health and just generally food in their tummies.

Influence is a strange thing. And sometimes you don't even know when you're being influenced. I have experienced a supremely negative influence in my life about men and people and when I removed myself from said influence (by force) last year, I returned to who I was. I noted recently that someone I care about reacted uncharacteristically in a situation and I was and still am quite baffled. Maybe there's an influence there, maybe not. Whatever the case may be....people in your life influence you whether you want them to or not.

I've stayed busy the last 48 hours. Staying busy keeps my mind off of the fact that I feel like a piece of my heart stopped beating and the oxygen around me is growing thin. Today, however, I drove home from lunch at the good cherry and the tears started to roll down my cheek as I realized how much I miss him. My heart aches for him. I'm not just being dramatic. I just miss my sunshine.

Beyond that, school is hyping up to a bit of a frenzy at the moment. ONe of my classes is falling off a bit in assignments, the other is ramping up. Either way, I'm stressing about both. I don't like my reaserach class and I don't like the group assignment that I"m supposed to be helping on that is turning rather like a last minute thing for me. Last minute is where i do best, but geez. Last minute group projects? Fail. Oh well, our teacher is a bit oblivious and I hope she just lets us slide. Whatever.

I think my brain dump may be done. For now anyway. It's going to be a long lonely night, so I might write again later if I feel the need to distract myself from statistics. Bah. :)


  1. I agree about social media. After witnessing too many hurts and misunderstandings and teh-omg-dramaz, I've concluded if it's personal, save it for your personal communication. If I feel the need to let the whole internet know about it, its either revenge, manipulation or pride - my top 3 motivations. I've learned to ask myself before I post something - why do I want to share this?
    Hence the shallow nature of my blog and updates. Anything personal is saved for face-to-face, private message or phone calls. And it helps to remember that what people post is NEVER the whole story. If I'm tempted to use social media for selfish purposes, then so are others and to be aware of what people post and not take it too serious.
    Plus, there are always people who post just to get a shock, a response or to stir up trouble. Lord knows I need to avoid those people because I am weak and always tempted to respond improperly. You know, cause I have a mouth and words just tumble out of it, lol. Quick, put them back it!
    Love ya, honey! So proud of you!

  2. Oh, and NEVER argue when tired. My brain-mouth filter is iffy on my best days, but when tired or hungry, I might as well not have one! ~ L


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