Sometimes You Just Need to Feel Small
Yes, I know, this is two blogs since the last Radically Single post, & I am working on the next one, I promise. This week was emotional and draining as God was working over my heart in some areas that were much needed. After that was done, the opportunity arose for me to go towards the Eastern part of VA, to visit my friend. She's originally from Florida, so she gets my need for Ocean visits.
I've written of my love for the Ocean, the waves and the sounds around me before. I've written of how it reminds me of God, and brings infinite peace to my soul. Lauren graciously drove me out to VA Beach on Saturday where we walked up and down the beach for 4 miles and just gloried in the sounds, the tastes, the views, and over all, just being there on a very cold (35 degrees) day. I left feeling much more centered & aligned, at peace with God and myself and ready to take on the challenges of the next few weeks.
As I drove home today, I listened to the opening sermon of Matt Chandler's latest series on Habakkuk. Not only did it hit me right at home, but there was an explanation for me in that sermon as he talked about the importance of being honest with God & others about where you are, and where you're going. He talked about how seeing places like Mt. Rainier & The Grand Canyon make you feel small and bring you to a place where your response is worship - if you're honest. He talked of how sin gets so BIG in our eyes, our failures get so big that we can't see the Cross, and he reminded us to look at the Cross and allow everything else to fade. In that, he reminded his congregation to allow God to use the moments when we feel small to remind us that there is only mercy and grace for God's children, because the wrath was taken at the Cross.
All that brought me to the place of thinking, that over the past week I had been thinking and regretting some sinful moments in my past few weeks and months. The drive out to see Lauren I spent in worship and listening to some God-appointed sermons about forgiveness, redemption and singing of how deeply God loves me by his death on Calvary. Didn't need a church moment, but I certainly had a moment with God. What followed was a deep need to see that Ocean and feel small again, so I could remember that all the junk I fail at isn't so big after all. God is bigger than all of it. Sometimes you just need to feel small. On the shore of the Atlantic Ocean this weekend, in 35 degree temperatures, I felt small. I felt loved. I felt that knowing an infinitely BIG God makes everything align a little bit better.
Oh How he Loves....yes He does love me.
~ But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us ~