It seems that God is growing a spirit of waiting in my heart. All I have heard lately in messages, in experiences and even in my observation has been about waiting. In fact, even the counsel I have been honored to pass along to dear friends has been about waiting.
Truth is, we live in a society of instant. One of my favorite apps on my phone is even called "Instagram." I noticed tonight that the girl behind me got frustrated and left as I waited in line at Panera because she had to wait more than 3 minutes to order her food. At my favorite coffee shop this morning, the poor barista was flustered because people were waiting for their drinks. I heard her tell the new co-worker to not worry about me that I was a patient customer while the others were getting irate because things were slow going. Instant is not fast enough in our society, I've seen. We rush around and expect to get what we want right now, right this instant. Even things we demand from God.
God doesn't work in an "instant" kind of way. In fact, most of the time, God doesn't work at all the way we want Him to at all. Mostly, I think God just wants to stop, breathe and sit in His presence. How often do we stop the frenetic rush and demanding and rest? I know I don't stop in silence in God's presence nearly enough. Especially in this season of "hurry up and finish" for my grad school classes.
Waiting is almost intrinsic to growth in the spiritual walk. It is in the waiting that God grows us into more like Him. My heart sometimes grows weary in waiting, but it is those moments when I take hold of what I know to be truth of God and hang on with a death grip. Over the years on this journey, I've learned that these moments are where growth really happens, where faith increases, trust becomes real, and hope grows.
Just this morning, I had a conversation with someone about life and how this life I live is nothing like what I had thought it would be. I've grown to be so settled in this, let go of the subtle bitterness that hatched years ago, started resting in a hand more Sovereign and knowledgable than mine and walking in real trust. Truth is, in this waiting, I believe God has grown in me a spirit more beautiful than what it was 1 year ago, 5 years ago, and certainly far more than when I arrived on this earth. I'm thankful for the waiting seasons in my life.
It would appear God has me in another one of those as I step into areas that require the most unimaginable trust that I've ever had to place. But all those years of waiting have me standing on the precipice I am on now, looking back at the altars I've set up and remembering how faithful God is. In this, I also see how the growth that comes from this waiting will grow more beauty, more trust and an increase in likeness of Him. There is no worry in waiting. I rest. He calls me to be still and know that He is God. I will. I will sit at His feet and rest awhile. He hasn't let me down yet and He will not from here.