Last night I updated my iPhone to the newest software. This morning has been experiments with the new features, including a background picture, being able to utilize more than one application at a time, and combined email inboxes. It's just so stinkin' cool. But as I sit here, in the cool of a lovely sunny Washington state late summer day, my friend, Steph asked me if I had the newest iPhone (version 4). I told her, no it's the older version, with new software, so it can do all the things a new phone can do....It got me thinking about my life as a believer.
See, last night, my phone's old software took literally all night to upgrade, back up and run smoothly this morning. It was a headache, for sure, but the benefit was certainly worth it. I'd been putting off the upgrade because of the HUGE pain in the neck it was going to be. Had I known the amazing things it could do, I would've done it sooner.
In my life as a believer, I often fail to "upgrade" - or allow God to do the work in my life via resistance, or disobedience and miss such good things that happen or come to life as a result. When He begins to plow up the earth soil of the heart, it is indeed a pain and can be difficult to say the least. But the benefits are incredible. This year, I've experienced a new kind of freedom, and it was not an easy road. The journey was painful, hard and difficult. But sitting here on the other side, softly assured in who God made me, secure in His hands and resting in His timing in every piece of my life, I can say confidently that it was worth EVERY moment.
Recently, the song "From the Inside Out" has been playing in my heart, as I've watched people around me experience transformations through the last series on freedom at BRCC. I've seen people's whole experience change. I've seen real change. I've experienced it myself. Last week, I got a note from a sweet sister in Christ who told me that there was a visible change in me that made me "glow" and "radiate real worship." That was humbling, but I know that it was all God's doing. And I knew that the change was INSIDE, not an outward appearance thing. Another friend told me that it was because I was in love....which made me laugh because of a lot of things. But she told me that it's obvious how much in love I was with God. It was sweet, but as I think about this phone and the software upgrade...I realize that this year was a 'software' upgrade of sorts for my heart.
In a lot of ways, I have seen that I can do a lot of things I couldn't do before. I find myself interacting with a new friend in a way that was not even a remote possibility for me before. I find myself seeking help in areas I fall short in humbly instead of trying to hold it together on my own. I find myself able to love people better. I find myself not falling into self-comparison, not letting the enemy's lies get to me the way they used to, and not feeling horribly insecure at every moment of my day. There's been a reboot, a new software in my heart, and the change has been from the inside out, with a Master Programmer writing the new software for my heart.