Ponderings {Random}

{Life is bigger than Facebook} ~ M.A.S. 
This was the topic of conversation last night. Social networking & the drama that it entails is so heavy and wearying sometimes. Because of the misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and inability to communicate well that it causes...I get sickeningly ill over it. Passive aggressiveness by people I barely know, hurt feelings over stupid stuff that we'd never dare say in person, "venting" that winds up harming more than doing any good, speaking out of turn about things we know nothing about - and people we know nothing about, making people feel less than edified, etc. All of these are things I've seen happen, done and had done to me via social network outlets. I've gone to writing only what I would say in the presence of everyone I know or edifying or fun for people. Beyond that, it is not a place to lay my heart. I reserve that for people who know me better. I trust not people to understand my heart in social network. 

{Pain is a gift} ~ Woody Torrence
This was from a sermon a few weeks ago. When he said it, I knew precisely what he was talking about. Having walked my journey of pain and healing this year...and holding someone else's hand through their journey not long after - well it became a gift. I have learned to thank God for the pain, even if I don't feel it because I've seen that in the end, the results are far greater than the pain. Today I was going through some pictures that were taken at a point when I felt like my heart would never beat again...and yes, I still can feel that pain seep in if I let it. But it's not about the pain anymore, it's about what God has done with it, will do with it and will continue to do IN me through it. I keep taking my hurts, my sorrows, my brokenness and pouring out at Jesus' feet like a sacrificial anointing, continually giving it back and taking my hands off the things that I have no reason to prove, no reason to worry myself over. God has things firm in hand. My trust of Him has grown to a Ruthless variety that won't let up. 

{Do I love you because you're beautiful or are you beautiful because I love you?} Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella
This song started playing in my head today out of the clear blue. I've contemplated much on the effects of love on the brain, the heart, the sight. Maybe love changes your view of people. But ultimately Love is an active thing. It's a choice to see someone differently than they are in a way. Yes, when you "fall in love" - you can have a moment when the attractiveness of a person and their character strikes you as lovely, but it's the choosing to continue to view their loveliness is when love becomes LOVE. I believe that Love is a choice. It's not a feeling that gives you butterflies, sparkles and sunshine...although that can be part of it... it's more than that. It's picking up the pieces of a person who's falling apart, it's giving your lifeblood in sacrifice for someone else's good. It's pure selflessness, sacrifice and surrender to someone else over your own desires. It's unconditional...that's what real love is. 

{Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.} ~ Joseph Campbell
I heard this quote on one of my favorite shows recently. It immediately became my favorite quote that is all about digging deeper than you. The song "Running to Your arms" by Hillsong is probably the song that most clearly delineates my year, that and "God is Able" by Hillsong as well. But Running to Your Arms is just so true...He's the source deep inside of me of Joy, Peace, Hope and that's where all the yucky of life burns away with His glory. Looking at His glory, nothing compares, nothing satisfies like that. When I feel anything negative, I run. I dig deep into His heart. I grab hold of Him with a death grip. I did that on multiple occasions this year. I was hanging on by fingernails at times, thinking I'd surely not be able to hang on much longer...and then he'd hold me. The experience is more beautiful in hindsight than in the midst of it, when you're falling apart. Let me just say, that I know and KNOW that He is my joy...and His joy does eventually burn out the pain. 

{Come Thou Long Expected Jesus....} ~ Christmas song
This song....I've found to be so impacting to me this year. I signed up for daily emails during the Advent season from Christ City Church in Memphis and praying scripture daily, setting my heart to the thrill of the coming of the celebration of Christ's birth...asking for God's presence in the day, singing back His words to Him....it all is tied up in this song for me. This version is off of Chris Tomlin's Christmas album released in 2010 and sung by Christy Nockels. There is no instrumentation, just a straight voiced passion over the lyrics begging for Christ's presence. May I always yearn for Christ's presence in every moment of my day like this: 


  1. Waz up! hadn't heard from you in quite a while.


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